wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
