I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
