and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
