I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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