i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
