They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
