listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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