Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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