escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Michael Bay diarrhea
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
