what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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