i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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