I wannas sexs uuuuu
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
