How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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