How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
we should paint friendship bongs
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
