i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
