I CAN MOONWALK!
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You took a bar mat shot.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
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