What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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