I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
farters have to be the big spoon...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
