Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
