U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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