i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
