I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
