lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
