I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
