i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
