In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
