Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
