she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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