im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
