When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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