tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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