My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
