So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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