She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
