bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
not ubering you a puppy
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
