VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
