just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
