I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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