Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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