I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize