Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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