Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
