Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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