it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
