Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize