I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize