My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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