New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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