Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
