do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
