just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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