have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize