Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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