Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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