put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
