i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
