I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
